My father was a clipper. Mostly book reviews. He underlined his favorite passages with a colored felt-tip pen, in a neat wavy line that tossed the wordsup off the page.In my senior year of college, just after New Year’s, he sent me a clipping from his diocesan weekly newspaper entitled “Climbing Mountains.” He had photocopied it, and inscribed it at the top:“To ANN, I think you will reach your impossible dream. Dad”I mounted and framed that page, in an inexpensive metal frame that I ordered from a catalog and assembled myself. A quarter-century later, it remains on display in my office. My father has pas sed on, but his message remains in my heart.

Back then, I aspired to the New York Times and the New Yorker. (I achieved the former, and still don’t rule out the latter.) My path took its twists and turns, ultimately through graduate school and into academia. By 40 I found myself bored and restless—
itching for something bigger.

Today, a few years after ditching my life as a tenured university professor, I find myself back at beginner’s mind. Once again
I find myself standing at the foot of that mountain.I could have coasted in my university job. Some urged me to do so. My new husband certainly wasn’t encouraging any rash moves.

But I craved a different life. I felt increasingly suffocated by the old one. I guess reinventing myself as a life coach and speaker after more than 20 years in academia was something of an “impossible dream.” The thing is, I wasn’t so much focused on the end game. I was interested in the challenge. What I wanted most was to figure out what more there was to me, in me. If I stayed where I was, I would never know. My greatest desire has always been the desire to know–not just about the world around me, but about my own capabilities. When my father told me I could do anything I put my mind to, what exactly could that encompass? When he predicted that I would be the first
woman president, what was he seeing that I didn’t?

Most of the time my clients start the coaching process with a goal in mind. They want to make a decision, or make a plan. They want to decide upon a dream to pursue. And most of the time that turns out to be a pretext for the real work: to find out, what kind of stuff am I made of? The journey isn’t an ascent up a mountain in front of us. It’s a descent into our own depths. We just use the experience of the mountain as the crucible within which to test our depths, and to expand. To become who we are.

The descent isn’t easy. It reminds us that we have learned to get along, chosen to ignore our longings, settled for playing it safe. That’s where dreams help. Dreams provide the opportunity for you to project yourself beyond the old boundaries. Dreams are the existential equivalent of “Outward Bound.” Instead of hiking through the wilderness with a compass and a can of sterno, you explore your own unknown territory.

It’s what religious orders would call “the dark night of the soul.” When I decided to quit, I imagined every awful scenario of failure until I got down to the bottom of it. Suppose I couldn’t make a living? Would I regret quitting? Quite simply, I decided I’d rather start over at McDonald’s or as a secretary. I could imagine it, I could deal with it, I could begin anew. I love do-overs. A friend in the midst of a breakup once asked me about any upside of my divorce. And I told him without missing a beat: it’s a gift we get so rarely in life, an honest-to-goodness do-over!

I love being a life coach because I feel alive in the regenerative muck of our depths. I love the essential work of being human. As far back as high school, I chose Tennyson’s “Ulysses” and Dylan’s “Do Not Go Gentle” as my poems to read in the oral interpretation competition. For many adult years I was stymied by the choice. I didn’t remember being a depressed teenager.

I wasn’t depressed. I was longing to chart my own unknown territory. Tennyson provided my mantra: “To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”

Aries
March 21 – April 20
It is hard to define, but uneasiness seems to be undermining your direction and disorganizing you. Maybe an impossible dream is beckoning you. Keep your feet on the ground; someone could be spinning a scam. Mid-month, your social life can be very active.

Taurus
April 21 – May 20
You may be busy saving the world, but pay attention to your kids. They need your support now. If you don’t have kids, your inner child has a little tear in its eye. Mid-month, cultivate an unconventional friendship.

Gemini
May 21– June 21
What your parents and grandparents taught you about work is being challenged. If you are itching to break free or get if you get downsized, aim higher and research your next step. Mid- month, use your natural humor to stay on the sunny side.

Cancer
June 22 – July 22
Take a sabbatical from those hours of e-mails and texts. It has been hard to get your message across anyway. Take a mental health day off of work and watch Oprah for some inspiration. Mid-month you can adopt a new attitude.

Leo
July 23 – August 22
Everyone may have gone from riches to rags, but you might have an idea that will swing you back to riches. Conquer any fears that keep you from focusing on careful details and pace yourself. Mid-month, cooperate with whomever Spirit puts into your life.

Virgo
August 23 – September 22
Someone out there is being ditzy and you have to play the heavy. Let their need for space give you a new perspective on your own true needs. Mid-month, change your schedule and take time to look at the sky when you are getting into your car.

Libra
September 23 – October 22
You may be feeling soul-sick and don’t know where it is coming from. Get out your corny self-help books and start every day with spiritual connection and positive affirmations. Apply the lyrics of Madonna’s song “Express Yourself” to yourself.

Scorpio
October 23 – November 22
You are outgrowing some friends and are over-extended with committee work. At the same time the kids are running wild or you might have an inappropriate crush on someone. Be judicious about which bridges you want to burn. Mid-month, visit someone who always makes you laugh.

Sagittarius
November 23 – December 21
The world is pressuring you to fame in your career. At the same time, you dream of letting everything go and opening that little bed-and breakfast at the beach. Maximize the opportunities you have now, but take as many getaways as you can. Mid-month, subscribe to a new magazine.

Capricorn
December 22 – January 20
Your whole personality is being reconstructed. If you are worrying to death, apply the idea, “Maybe I don’t have a concept for these changes yet.” Mid-month, put a personal Declaration of Independence into writing.

Aquarius
January 21 – February 19
You can be stubborn and it is particularly hard to compromise now. Remember, what you resist persists. Any trials with your body can direct you to examine what is really important in life. Mid-month, direct your burst of physical energy in an imaginative way.

Pisces
February 20-March 20
Someone is being a wet blanket, but you trained him or her to depend on you. Stay calm and practice drawing new boundary lines. “ I gotta be me” has some truth in it. Mid-month, try a new meditation method.

Laura Waldman has been a consulting Astrologer since 1982. She offers clarity, validation, and optimum timing for any aspect of your life process. She offers natal, predictive, relationship, geographic relocation, and spiritual mentoring readings. Access her expertise in times of transition. Learn more at her website: www.LauraWaldmanAstrology.com or call her at 512-291-8299.

Another true story.

Jerri is a very smart, very talented lawyer–an associate at a large, prestigious law firm. She is the proud single mom of an infant boy and the survivor of a life-threatening illness.

When we met, Jerri was still on the mend. And she wanted to make a move. She wanted to relocate near her parents in a smaller city, so her son could live in a kid-friendly neighborhood with appropriately doting grandparents nearby.

Though she loved her work and planned to advance in her career, right now Jerri wanted to establish a different lifestyle for herself and her son.

Large law firms have not historically embraced off ramping, flextime, or leaves. Jerri’s main concern was her job.

Would her current employer accommodate her move? Was this a good moment to open her own practice? Or to go corporate as an in-house counsel?

We explored all the possibilities, so Jerri could best “rehearse” all her options and visualize the big picture of how all the varied pieces of the puzzle might fit together.

But how would her boss, who depended upon her, respond? Anger? Dismissal out of hand? Should she have another job offer in hand? Would that make her position stronger, or would that be perceived as disloyal? These worries got the best of Jerri during one of our conversations.

She got herself to that dark place we’re all familiar with when we play “What if?” In the game of “What if?” we give over our power to the person or organization whose reactions we are trying to predict. We go from “want” to “should.”

Jerri had spiraled out of control by focusing on her employer’s position rather than her own intentions. I wanted to bring her back to her place of clarity and power, so I gave her a freewriting assignment. Every day for the next week she was to spend 10 minutes describing the new life she was preparing for herself and her son.

A few days later, Jerri emailed me the news. After only two freewriting sessions, she couldn’t put it off any longer. She reconnected with the depth of her desire to create a better life for her family, and she told her boss that she was going to move. Before she even had the chance, her boss suggested that Jerri continue working with the firm remotely.

Writing is an extraordinary tool for re-focusing yourself. When you’re doubtful, it reminds you what you want. When you’re confused, it sorts through the mess. When you’re distracted, it brings you back to center.

So if you’re needing the clarity and confidence that leads to action, try writing. Here are a few freewriting prompts to suit most situations:

What’s happening?
What’s missing?
What’s wrong?
What’s working?
What’s next?
What’s best?

Stay clear!
Ann